Day 11 is here! Trendom’s 12 Days of Christmas is here to guide you with tips and tricks to get you through the holiday season. Over the next week and a half til Christmas, we’ll bring you the best holiday drinks, must-have stocking stuffers and tips on where to get those last minute gifts that always pop up on your to do list. Today we have 2 Gifts For The People You Hate!
In Trendom’s 12 Days of Christmas series, we’ve given you a slew of holiday inspiration. Most of that inspiration has been to carry you through the more pleasant, enjoyable moments of the holiday season, or to guide you in gift shopping for the friends and family you love and adore. But what about gifts for the people you absolutely loathe? Whether you’re obligated to get them a gift or feel the need to surprise them with an unexpected present to exact revenge, we’ve got you covered!
1. Glitter bombs, smelly poop and other prank mail gifts
The appropriately named Ruin Days is here to “ruin your enemy’s day by sending them stupid glitter, smelly poop, annoying sand, smelly stupid glitter poop and other inconvenient items.” Have a frenemy who thinks they’re the shit? Send them some actual shit. In a box.
Think some smelly poo won’t make up for the years of douchebaggery you’ve dealt with from a certain friend? A trick box of sand should do the trick.
The site guarantees that “when they pull open this box within a box, fine sand will surely get all over their carpet and stay there for the rest of their shitty lives.”
Need something even more annoying than sand? Go with glitter. Ruin Days has not one, not two, but three different ways to ensure you succeed in ruining someone’s
day life with glitter that they’ll never be able to fully get rid of.
For the first time glitter senders, the Glitter Everywhere Envelope is your gift.
You can even choose your glitter size, or with a custom order, choose the glitter color. The site gives you some helpful advice: “Extra fine glitter will really fuck their day up.”
Let’s say you sent someone a glitter envelope last year. They’ll surely recognize the evil gift if it comes their way a second year in a row, yeah? No! Ruin Days offers a surprise envelope with different packaging to fool second-time recipients.
Suppose you’d have to be a real jerk to make someone want to send you glitter three years in a row, but Ruin Days even has you covered if you know one of those. The Disguised Spring Loaded Glitter Bomb comes in a number of tube color options, and even ships with a different return address to be sure your recipient isn’t wise to the contents. Extra bonus: It’s spring loaded, so that glitter will be absolutely EVERYWHERE. Good luck trying to clean that up!
They do offer a glitter clean up wipe, if you’re not 1000% committed in your hate for the recipient or happen to be plagued with a guilty conscience.
Other gifts on the site include a bag of gummy dicks, which we suggest sending along with a calligraphy note that reads “eat a bag of dicks.” And for the pricks that you think will ignore your instructions, you can send them a spring loaded gummy dicks bomb. Then they’ll have no choice but to eat it as they fly towards their face.
For the person you really, really, really hate, Ruin Days offers* the Spring Loaded Smelly Poop Bomb:
*We say they “offer” this maniacal gift, but it’s currently sold out and we have a feeling they’ve always been listed as such. The product page comes with a note: “If you are enough of an asshole to really send a spring-loaded box of shit to somebody, send us an email at email@example.com for possible employment.” We’re quite curious as to how many serious inquiries they actually receive…
2. Something really effing awesome
What’s worse than receiving smelly poop in the mail or opening an envelope only to have a bunch of glitter spew all over the place? Receiving a really thoughtful, awesome gift from someone you thought was surely going to send you poop in the mail. That’s right – the old kill them with kindness method of revenge is a solid go to during the holidays. The more thought you put into it, the better. Going for something hand-crafted? We salute you – you evil, evil genius!