I’m sure the TV buffs out there like myself were very much ready for this premiere of Scream Queens. Fox made sure everyone knew, from promoting the show across all social media outlets to every commercial spot available, that this was premiering. The show already has a lot to live up to, before you even mention the all star cast. I’m a huge fan of Ryan Murphy. I loved Glee and American Horror story, so I was interested to see his take on a HorCom? Is that the word? I might have just made it up. None the less, let’s dive into this recap. Bear with me, this is going to be long because it was a two hour premier and we need to introduce everyone.
We start the show off in 1995 with a pair of bloody hands walking though a crowed sorority party. I would like to point out that no sorority house I have ever seen looks at lavish as this one and I’m a proud sister of Lambda Iota, but I need to keep reminding myself that this is just a show. A group of girls run upstairs to find a Kappa pledge sitting in a bath tub after giving birth. The mean girls and obvious leaders of the sorority find it appropriate to yell at her but decided that dancing to ‘Water Falls’ by TLC is more important than helping the new mom. After returning upstairs from the awesome party (valley girl voice) they find the girl died in the tub from losing all that blood.
The scene cuts to 20 years later and we see the beautiful and equally horrible Chanel Oberlin (Emma Roberts) waking up to her perfect life, in her perfect bed, in her perfect house. She also has a closet to die for. She has a group of minions which she doesn’t actually know the names of. Chanel #2 (Ariana Grande), Chanel #3, and Chanel #5 (Abigail Breslin.) There was Chanel #4 but she died of meningisits. We also meet Ms. Bean, who is the house keeper to whom Chanel shows no mercy.
Next, we finally meet Dean Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) and she hates sororities and she hates Chanel. I almost spit my drink out when I heard the first words Chanel says to her, “Do you like to munch box because your last name is Munsch or is that a coincidence?” Uh, excuse me, who talks to the Dean of Students that way and gets away with it?? Chanel does. Dean Munsch is fed up with the Kappa house and is ready to bring them down. Drinking, prescription drugs, racism, and bestiality were all child’s play compared to the horror that happened to the last Kappa president. Flip to a flash back of the old president of Kappa, Melanie, belittling Chanel in front of other sisters (wonder where Chanel learned it from.) She didn’t think Chanel had what it took to be the next prez and uninvited her to Punta Mita for Spring Break. I know, the horror!! One of the sisters starts spraying tanning Melanie only to find that instead of spray tan, there was hydrochloric acid in the air brush. The sisters run out screaming and this is where we first see the Red Devil!
Back to reality, Dean Munsch is convinced Chanel is to blame for burning Melanie and threatens to revoke the Kappa Charter. In walks GiGi, president of the National KKT. She tells Dean that she can’t revoke the charter, but they can work something out.
We now meet Grace (Skyler Samuels), somewhat a breath of fresh air after all the bitchniess. We see Grace and her father driving to school. Her dad does not want her to join the sorority but her deceased mother was a Kappa and she feels this is how she will get to know her mother better and follow in her foot steps. Not to mention she is a legacy, which means she will have an automatic bid to the house since her mother was a Kappa. We also meet Zayday, Grace’s roommate. She is a lot to handle but seems like a good fit for Grace. Grace convinces her to rush Kappa with her and tells her all the fun they are going to have.
Grace is standing outside the Kappa house and looks over to see the Red Devil lurking around. She runs to get a closer look, but as predicted the Red Devil runs away. Next, we’re in the Kappa house for the first night of rush when Dean Munch makes an announcement that Kappas will be required to accepted anyone that wants to be a pledge… anyone! As you could guess, this sends the Chanels into a rage. Chanel goes through all the pledges with their assigned nicknames and a horrible description. “Neckbrace (Lea Michelle) aka Hester- smells like hot dog water and probably sprained her neck giving blumpkins down at the local bowling alley. Deaf Taylor Swift aka Tiffany- and like all deaf people she has horrible halitosis. Predatory Lez aka Mac or Butch- two days ago I caught her staring at my ass in the quad, all that girl is after is a whole lot of girl burger.” And finally, Jennifer, who doesn’t get the proper Chanel introduction but she is a candle blogger on youtube.
Cut to the quad where Chad (Glen Powell) and Boone (Nick Jonas!!) are hitting some golf balls. Chad tells Chanel that if Kappa is filled with weirdos and fatties, she won’t popular anyone which means she won’t be at the top of the list of “pieces of asses” he’s getting. Seems like you got a good one Chanel!
Chanel comes up with a plan with Ms. Bean to make sure only the pretty girls pledge Kappa. She tells Ms. Bean that they are going to get into a fight and she will throw her into the deep fryer, which will be off, to scare the girls into de-pledging. Little side note here to show the person Chanel really is- she is at the Grind, the local coffee house, and orders a “trenta no foam 5 shot half caf no foam pumpkin spice latte with no foam at 210 degrees.” She proceeds to scream at the barista for not understanding her request and for burning the milk. At this point the barista is over it so he moves on to take the next customer, Grace. She makes a joke about wanting a freezing pumpkin spice latte and he instantly falls in love. He doesn’t agree with her choice of pledging Kappa and sends Graces away pissed off. Peter, the barista, then runs after to her apologizing and to warn her about joining the Kappa house. Not only does he make a mean cup of joe, but he is an investigative reporter for the school newspaper. Chanel doesn’t miss the opportunity to tell Grace that she had a restraining order against him last year.
#2 finds a creepy collage of Chanel in Ms. Beans rooms and Chanel uses this as her opportunity to show the pledges what it means to be a Kappa. Chanel tells the girls about her fake-out plan and says she’s just going to drown her in the oil, but of course when the time came to do the deed, the fryer was on and Ms. Bean’s face was burned off. They spend about 10 minutes arguing about whether or not Chanel actually killed her by burning her face off. Grace tries to go to the police, but the pledges take Chanel’s side when she promises them cool boyfriends and a trip on Cancun for spring break. The sisters and pledges take the body to the freezer with Pete watching from the bushes. Chanel makes it known that if anyone tells, they will be right next to Ms. Bean in the freezer.
Dean Munsch is shown talking to herself about how she hates college girls. As it turns out, Chad is laying next to her naked. She almost admits to blackmailing students on academic probation aka Chad. She honestly seems just as bad as Chanel.
Grace and Pete meet up for dinner where she plans to tell him about Ms. Bean, but he of course already knows everything that happened because he was in the bushes outside the house. Grace wants to get Kappa back to where it was when her mother was a Kappa and destroy Chanel. Grace and Pete break into the Kappa garage, trying to get to the freezer but are stopped by the garage door opening. Chad and Chanel also walk in to look in the freezer while Prace (Pete & Grace??) hide. When they open the freezer, the body is missing. Is Ms. Bean alive or did someone take the body?
#2 decides this is all too much for her and goes to her room to pack her bags to leave. She gets a text to open the closet door and of course, because this is Scream Queesn, she does. Out walks the Red Devil. RD texts her again saying do you want to dance with the devil? She says maybe. They dance. RD texts again saying he’s going to kill her now and she says wait whattt??? and gets stabbed. She crawls over to her computer to tweet that she is being murdered and of course this gives the RD enough time to stab her again, but she doesn’t die until she sends the tweet. Side note- this show is supposed to be funny and this part definitely had me laughing.
Tonight is Hell week (pledging went by fast) and the pledges are dug up to their heads in the backyard while Chanel and Grace are having a meeting that goes nowhere. Later that evening, the girls who are stuck in the yard start to hear lawn mower noises. All the girls start screaming once the see the RD riding towards them- well not everyone is screaming. Deaf Taylor Swift is singing until she notices the mower coming straight for her and runs her over!
Dean Munsch is obviously not happy about what happened to the pledge. She tells the girls that everyone needs to stay in the house until the investigation is over. GiGi hires a security guard, Denise (Niecy Nash), to protect the girls. While the pledges are cleaning the floors with tooth brushes, Grace goes to get more cleaning supplies and she stumbles upon a locked door that only the president has the key too. She shares this information with Pete. They both agree to break into the room and the Dean’s office, but not before they share a kiss (ooooh romance)! Pete goes to the Dean’s office and Grace takes the locked door.
As Grace is snooping in the room that is locked, she finds a treasure chest with a KKT party mix from 1995 and the bloodied tub. Chanel finds her snooping and tells her that this is where Kappa keeps all their darkest secrets. Chanel then tells her the story about the girl that died after giving birth and how they covered up death with the help from Munsch and Ms. Bean. This leaves Grace questioning what happened to the baby??
Chad and Chanel break up because he cares more about the dead corpse then being there for Chanel. Chad goes back to his place and tells Boone all about his problems. Boone is also scared about the murder and asks to sleep next to Chad. Chad agrees if he promises to keep his hands to himself (there was a incident before where Boone got handsy). This is when we also learn that Boone is gay, but nobody else besides Chad knows. Chanel decides she doesn’t actually want to break up with Chad and walks in on those two snuggling. Chad tells her he’s sorry that everyone, even plants, want to have sex with him. Now he wants to break up with her because she is a spoiled homophobic little girl. First time I was #TeamChad.
Pete was looking through the Dean’s files when he is hit from behind by the RD. As a result of this ambush, he gets tied up outside with a sign that says MYOB (mind your own business.) Grace is uncomfortable with the fact that Pete is naked in his own room, so she goes to his closet to get him something and finds the RD costume! She recognizes it from before and accuses Pete of being the killer and the baby from the Kappa party 20 years ago. After Grace storms out, Pete is left with the mask in his hand and a creep smile on his face.
Boone then meets the Chanels in a coffee shop. He asks Chanel to let him come out and then join KKT since they are forced to let anyone join the sorority. Chanel #5 has a freak out and shows she is more than meets the eye.
Later that evening, Denise, the security guard, hears screaming while sitting/guarding the house in her car. She walks inside to find Chanel hysterical because she was just attacked by the RD. All the girls run upstairs in hopes of finding the killer but they only find “SLUTS WILL DIE” written in blood on the wall. Denise runs back to the car to tell her friend Shawndell, but only finds her stabbed to death.
We end the episode with what I think is the best scene, Boone shirtless and working out in his room. In walks the RD and Boone says “what, am I supposed to be scared?” The guys of his house find him later with his throat slit open in the middle of the living room. Then we have an eerie PLL end scene at a mortuary. Actually, this is all a little close to PLL, even down to the Red Coat. But I digress. In the morgue, RD pulls open the body drawer containing Boone. Plot twist – Boone opens his eyes and takes off the fake throat slit and says “what took you so long?”
So it seems that everyone has a motive and no one is safe. I’m not sure what to even make of the show, but I do know I want more! Until next time my sweet, sweet friends!